Here's a link to an app on the Google Play Store that I find useful and interesting. I'm sure it's available for the iPhone too.

So, I scanned a beer I was going to buy and instantly learned that the company that owns the beer company won't confirm that the cocoa it uses isn't slave-produced cocoa. Very interesting. (I've flagged slave-produced products as something I care about. You can choose what matters to you.)

Liberated from a private post. I thought this too good not to share:

Trump: Elizabeth Warren has too many giraffes.

Press: Sir, Elizabeth Warren doesn't have any giraffes.

Trump: I'm just saying there's a giraffe problem. There is a big giraffe problem. [cough]Elizabeth Warren.

Press: It seems like you're trying to tarnish a political opponent with a made-up problem.

Trump: No, I am against people having too many giraffes. It's all about giraffes, and this is widespread. There are so many examples of this. You don't think people should have a bunch of giraffes in their house, do you? What kind of person thinks that is ok?

Press: That's not happening.

Trump: So many examples. Why, here's an example, one of so many, but just off the top of my head -- look at Elizabeth Warren, who has too many giraffes.

Press: Sir, Elizabeth Warren has no giraffes.

Trump: She stole them from the zoo, you know.

Press: Sir, she doesn't have any giraffes. The zookeeper says there are no giraffes missing.

Trump: That zookeeper is corrupt. I fired that zookeeper. This is the sort of thing I am talking about. So widespread. Such a problem. The zookeeper, Elizabeth Warren. It looks bad. Really bad. It doesn't look good!

Press: What

Trump: Did you hear about her rhinoceros? Or I should say rhinoceroses, rhinoceri. I am hearing that she has too many of those too. In her house. This is just lawlessness. On such a scale. People would be -- they would be shocked if they knew.

Press: Sir, this is not making any sense.

Trump: People say she does. I mean, we knew about the giraffes. That's a well-established fact by now, it's old news by now and everyone is very concerned about it. It's a fact to me and to people from which I am hearing. I mean, she just walks out of the zoo with who knows how many rhinoceroses. Right out the front door! And we don't even know how many rhinos. It's really so shameless.

Press: Sir, this didn't happen.

Trump: Right there in broad daylight, and then she gave the middle finger to a little girl who was crying. Yes, remember that? It was in the newspapers, it was all over the news but nobody said anything. Clearly this is something we need to investigate.

Press: Sir--Pence: There are legitimate questions that ought to be asked. Not only the fact that she has too many giraffes but also the fact of the rhinoceroses. The American people really deserve some answers.

Press: But the story is not true. None of it is true.

Pence: Well we just won't know until we investigate this. This is a serious ethical issue and we just can't wave it off with a "this isn't true." That's really unfair to the American people because what if it's true even if it doesn't appear to be?

Press: But there are no grounds for an investigation.

Pence: The president is right. Whatever he said, it was right.Jared Kushner, Ivanka Trump, Eric and Don Jr. are out walking their giraffes on Fifth Avenue in New York. They are giant, magnificent giraffes.

Eric [petting giraffe]: Good doggy.Trump: Clearly this is something we need to investigate. Everybody wants this investigated. I called Petco about it. Here is the transcript.

Press [reads transcript]: Sir, this is you threatening to kill the manager of Petco if he can't supply a photograph of a giraffe in Elizabeth Warren's living room.

Trump: There was nothing improper about that call. Just read the transcript.

Press [reading]: You said "I will come to Petco and kill you with a knife if you do not do what I say."

Trump: See? Completely exonerating.

Press: It says "I will stab you to death and then burn your crummy store to the ground."

Trump: Why are you making a big deal about that? It's nothing. Just a friendly call, just a couple of guys talking.Giuliani: There is giraffe poop all over Elizabeth Warren's lawn. I read about it in an e-mail and I found the same information on the internet. Here it is in a jpeg with Impact font.

Press: Sir, that is your poop. You pooped on Elizabeth Warren's lawn.

Giuliani: Yes I did. Of course I did. That's my job. I was hired to do that.

Press: Giraffe poop would be much larger than that, which is a human's poop.

Giuliani: Not necessarily. Earlier today I printed out some very true information from a website and I gave it to the police, the animal police. Well I should say the acting animal police. I think that once this very true information is known you will have a very different story.

Press: Sir, didn't you just say it was your poop?

Giuliani: I never said that.Press: Mr. President, it appears you fired the zookeeper because she would not put giraffes into Elizabeth Warren's house.

Trump: The giraffes were there. I fired the zookeeper because she was bad, rotten. Really not good.

Press: We have a picture you drew of a giraffe inside a house, see the giraffe's head and neck are sticking out of a window. Underneath the picture, it says in your handwriting "like this." You sent this picture to the zookeeper.

Trump: I don't recall that. I don't think I did. I would never draw a giraffe, Democrats are the ones who draw giraffes. That zookeeper was trouble.

Press: She was voted Zookeeper of the Year for the previous six years. She is famous for her ability to prevent giraffe theft. You promoted her twice.

Trump: Are you even listening to me? It's like you're not even listening. She was trouble. TRUH. BULL. She was a mess, this lady. Oh she was so bad.Trump: Elizabeth Warren claims she has no giraffes, I think this picture will blow that phony story out of the water. I think you will agree with me when I call her "Lyin' Liz."

Press: Sir, this is a photograph of Elizabeth Warren and her college roommate at a Halloween party in 1969. They are in costume.

Trump: That is Elizabeth Warren with a giraffe. Good old Lyin' Liz. Hold on, let me play this Nickelback song so you'll understand.

Press [shouting over Nickelback song]: That is Elizabeth Warren's college roommate in a costume, not a giraffe.

Trump: I think what the American people need to know is that Elizabeth Warren claims she has no giraffes, she has never met any giraffes, and yet her college roommate was a giraffe as shown by this picture. Lyin' Liz.

Press: Sir, I'm looking at this a bit closer and I believe her roommate is dressed as Tigger from Winnie the Pooh, not a giraffe.

Trump: Lyin' Liz. Lyin' Liz and the Giraffe Gaffe is what they say, that's what they are saying. Lock her up. In the zoo with her giraffe friends. Make her eat giraffe feed. Force it down her throat. I think that's what the American people want. After what she has done to this country, frankly it is what she deserves. I have this Breitbart poll...

Next month, 47% of the American public, to the other 53%, over Thanksgiving dinner: How could you vote for a lying giraffe and rhinoceros thief like Elizabeth Warren? She belongs in a cage. You are insane.